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x o x o

enjoy life while you can.

no other like those family members you have. i love them to bits.

zoo with boncit.

post-zoo.

you're with me, till the bitter end. What we had, transcends. <3

Life has gotten alot better. After clarifying things, i guess it's way way better now. He is back to how he used to be. Not the changed-he-who-shall-not-be-named. I really missed those times and i'm happy that i'm feeling all those again. I have been smiling and laughing alot this week. And, all thanks to him having to realised how much he had changed. I had the week surrounded with friends. I had night cyling with "spice girls" ft "hi5",camping cum bbq with bibi and nik with boncit and then supporting Singapore Idol at the Singapore Indoor Stadium. All the good time was never a regret.

i'm glad that i am chatting with dans hadi right now. i missed him like crazy. i missed us composing songs, him bullying me and all. tomorrow will be his 18th Birthday. I was pulling his leg by saying that he was nice to me because he wanted a birthday gift. haha. We're talking about relationships and all. He told me he saw Rabia and i told him i saw Aizat lately. And told him how shocked Aizat was when he saw that i have grown alot fatter. He said that Aizat told him the same. HAHA. that Aizat will get it from me soon. He will DIE.

Okay. Now, everyone is saying i've grown fat. Stop it already. I'm beginning to feel insulted. Kudos to Sezairi for winning the Idol. We almost fought with the ushers for kicking us around. Beladi idiots. So what if they were your invited guest. Might as well do it on a first come first serve basis. Plus, that bugger need not talk to us like we're dogs. "EXCUSE ME! SHOW ME YOUR TICKETS! NO! THESE ARE OUR SEATS". Eh eh. Anjing kau? We have got seats too. You think we came in for free. Once a C, always a C. Perangai pun macam C. Everything also, must prioritise them. I'm very much agitated when it's talking about this. Nevermind about that. Soon enough, i'll be a rude one who cares nothing but to teach those morons out there. KIASU.

Attachments coming soon. I gotta get my ass to study already. All the best, peeps.

Nights.

fact: there's a truth in your eyes, saying you'll never leave me. <3

things left unsaid.

For the way you're something that i'd never choose

But at the same time, something i don't wanna lose.

I'm all alone in those sleepless solitary nights. Dwelling over things that may happen unexpectedly. I'm appreciating every moment of this, as it may seem. A moment for reflection on what i truly need in life. Something that may seem impossible. I need this moment in time. Disputes have been inevitable and bad luck struck me this time round. In the nick of time, i can be left all alone dealing with this undeniably sad story. It's nothing about breaking up or what nots. It's about knowing my true, real self. If being ego is me, why do i have to change? If lowering my ego helps me much in saving this beautiful relationship i am having, then why am i taken for granted? Tears roll down and i'm left with noone to hold, no shoulder to cry on. But, i'm best this way, left alone to allow me to have a mind at peace. Reason to why i have been crying alot? I have been suppressing much of my emotions and the only way to let it out is to cry. If yelling does help, why do relationships gets worse? I don't wish to break the promise i have made. The promise to discontinuing egoism. But it seems like things have gone alot worse. It kills me seeing myself being hurt, being insulted and what nots. I kinda miss how we fall in love, how everything was uber so sweet, how we try so much not to hurt and what's best, how everyone seemed to envy us. This is going no where. Honestly, i haven't gotten over it. I'm not saying that i am dragging things. By enlarged, i'm very much devastated by the ceased of dearest grandpa, failing statistics and added to that, endless arguments. Why can't we compromise? I tried so hard, can you even see the effort i made? Do you even realise that i have been crying much these days? What happened to "i'll be your shoulder to cry on"? I'm missing those little blunt, dumb things we used to do. Those sweet nothings. Those little yet priceless surprises.

I miss you. I really do. I miss how we cared to compromise. Does everything have to change? After much promising that you'll never change, you had to..? Are words just words? Life's pretty much on the rocks. I can't bear the load of burden on my shoulder. Ease it for me please? Come back like you used to, baby. Don't do this. Enough of all these already. If being a women with few words does help, that shall be it. Drowning all of my sorrows. The end of 2009 isn't that good afterall.

I haven't been blogging much. I'm meeting dear Nad for flea at Haji Lane tomorrow. Besides, i have a wedding to attend to. Met dear Lishah at Cityhall & flyers and over to town for some window shopping. Happened to see YP's flea and dropped by. Bumped into Lylie. Such coincidence. She added on on FB earlier on and bumped into her right on this very night. Fate lies in the hands of God, yeah? Term break's here and i'm calling it a hell break lose. Suppose to meet lovely ffour today but called off. Was suppose to be conferencing but i told them i needed time alone. Apologised to Kak Nad for the time alone. I shall get back to her when i'm alright. Night cycling this Wednesday? I'm calling this a bomb. I'm on for it.

Oh yes, i almost fought with this beladi nyonya in the bus. Pushing and jostling away like there were no other seats. Not even a single "excuse me". I may be deaf but i'm not daft. The bus was dead packed. I was waiting for the bus to stop so i can move to the rear. That's one. Another was running for the seat. What's up with kiasu Singaporeans? Whaddya get from rushing in the bus? Your destination time will be determined by the bus driver. I glared, showing disgust by her attitude. That's the case of the passanger. What about bus driver shouting and yelling like a fishmonger, asking people to move to the rear. Fulermak. testing sia. Courtesy is nurtured, not natured.

fact: wanna have that accidental happily ever after.