it's the end of attachments. SAY WHAT?! it ended! hell break loose! dated 25th last night, all the good things come at one go. payday, last day of attachments, holidays and the start of my life. thank god. i'm $900 richer than usual. Seems to me that my 2009 resolution will be met. The goal i have set for myself. Kudos to me for doing so.

Alhamdullilah for the good results once again. Lecturer said we did pretty well for this attachments. Again, i am glad. The hardwork i put in, the willingness to learn. Congrats Julyanna for being such an idiot, self proclaiming yourself.

this is random but Bottle Pop is SEXAAAYY.
Show Me What You Got is toooooo..!!

Last day of attachments, i made a promise to myself to slack. Indeed, we stayed in the tea-room for 2 freaking hours, finding the best reason to make a card for the staff. came out, did some parameters and then SLACKKK. chit chat chit chat. that's work for me. Went for break and paid Ayu a visit. Admitted for appedicitis. Get well soon dear. She went for appedisectomy just now at 10pm. May Allah bless her. Amin. Later at 8pm, SN Aaron told us to get medicines from the pharmacy at the A&E. Diana and i took our time walking there hoping to reach the ward by 8.30 and bid farewell to all the staff. Met Mamat at the bustop for supper and back home. Something good will happen next weekend and i am extremely excited for it. To those who know, you sure do know, yaw! Hehehe. Misses and much kisses to the whole bunch of you all.

I'm still waiting for confirmation from my 4express bunch about this Monday and i have yet to get back to dear Bibi. I'll do it by tomorrow and i hope i remember. Dearest Syaa, Omarr, Lishahh & Dann will be out for F1. I guess i will be continuing my house visits with family. I'm gon' be at kakak's place this weekends, like at last!

this video just reminds me of how he was soooo happy seeing boobies on the music video. you know who you are. :)

You know why this is up? Because he loves this number 69. It's the number on his jersey. So, when i realised that the Hummus and Barbousa was designed in a way that it looks like the numbe 69, i decided to snap a pic of it. :)

If i am not wrong i got myself Mushroom Chicken Chop, I THINK. hahaha. Not that i remember of.

So yes, we managed to take photos while waiting for the time to break fast.

Results are out, they are far from good. But, Alhamdulillah, i managed to pass ALL and all thanks to one and only, Allah S.W.T. I sacrificed alot and i suppose the outcome is worth it. I have been neglecting social life, dance life and what nots and i suppose, it's worthwhile. I mean, i spent alot of time studying. The results may not be satisfying but then again, i have been having slight improvements, semester by semester. Not much improvements, but i think, i made it through. Despite so many attempts, i guess this time round, my results were pretty much relieving.

Alhamdulillah, Aidilfitri has moved and now it's the 4th day. Time flies so fast that i will be ending my attachments in 2 days time. So far, so good. I managed to get many learning opportunities and have met with my learning objectives. Pretty much glad on that part though.

Phone bill is cheap this month. It only cost me $26.90. Another good news i suppose. Maybe i should name all the good news that keep coming to me and i really thank god for that. :)

• Gemok passed his TP and got his driving license already.

• Passed exams.

• Having much improvements

• Mom has been good and treating me more like an adult.

• Hari Raya went on fine.

• I'm back to dance

Attachments will end soon.

Another thing, i have been gaining weight and it's scaring me. My tummy is bloated and during my last outing for breaking fast, i realised i looked like hot air balloons. sooo PHAT.

At times, i find myself pissed but i don't know how i can vent my anger. To whom, should i be yelling at. At times, i know devastation takes me nowhere, but God knows, it's not easy dealing with all the roaring of different kinds of emotions. I just stood still, staring blankly, hoping things would change. When you get accused for the wrong reasons, you just feel like you are so shit-ified. But my religion teaches me to be patient. However, being patient might just lead to someone, stepping over you head. Matter of fact, when i go silent, it doesn't literally mean i am defeated or neither do i let myself be defeated. It means i am thinking.

Till then, Julyanna is feeling all worn out. She is going to catch her afternoon nap. Thank God for the afternoon shift tomorrow. I can rest longer. This is the rest i am longing for. Call me if there is anything.

fact : sometimes the good things awaits noone. You have got to keep your mind clear and be able to notice it. :)

PATHETIC?

Sometimes, you really wonder who your true friends are when you are down at the lowest? Who will be those who will listen to all your rants, your cries, your problems and whats not. Sometimes, when you do have friends and you don't feel like as if they belong to you, you feel like you need time alone. This is when your true friends will appear and you start to realise who has been with you all along. I have a handful whom i call bestfriends. These are the people whom i really mean best of friends. Though we are far apart, though we don't meet often, they are always there. Those whom we meet often don't really know your problems. However, those who are far, will know. That is when the value of friendship will show. What tickles me is how people tend to overreact when there is nothing to react to. I may be close to many people, but knowing that most are hypocrites, made me think twice. I met my bestfriends once in every 2 months or so. I don't know why i value every moment spent whenever we meet. We have fought, we have shared alot. Then again, it's true, absence makes a heart grow fonder. When we miss, we tend to cherish those we meet rarely. Pretty sad that people often misjudge the way i am. It's pretty hard for me to juggle time yet, people tend to accuse me the way it's not suppose to be. I haven't been spending much time with family neither do i spend much time with boyfriend. I barely have time for myself. Life now is all about work and rest. I don't even have much rest. People tend to follow their emotions too much. Added to that, this triggers to what i feel like sharing.

Whenever i am in an argument with boyfriend, i have always been emphasising on the unseen good deeds and the obvious bad deeds. Which is true. You put a prisoner inside a prison. Whenever the prisoner repent, you will still think that he is still a prisoner. Earthlings have common thinking. They only see the bad things we do. Neither do they wanna see on the bright sight and see all the good things people have done. Then, i will tell myself to step back. Probably, a time alone will relief all these setbacks. However, can a time alone be able to convince all those who had been misjudging me? God, please open up their mind and heart. Show them how much i have been trying to please each and everyone but still fail. Amin.

I haven't been meeting many of my friends and that includes Mr Ahmad Danial. I haven't been meeting him eversince i was busy with exams. Then, i had attachments. Futhermore, we don't plan to meet often during the fasting month as we have other issues to attend to. Ramadhan has marched pass and still marching through and i have only met him twice. Out of the whole of two months, i guess we only meet 5 times? Well, that's better than nothing. In fact, we don't believe in meeting often. Then again, just why, the day that i meet him, will be the day that friends will ask me out? That is the question that i am rather curious. On any other free days, just why does noone bother calling me out. And the day that i am free, will be the day that friends are unavailable. Now, i know why people drift themselves away from friends. They need to find the value of friendship and where they stand. As seen, today i have been talking much about friendship. Prolly because i have been having issues dealing with emotions. Herman Hesse said this " If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us. ". I find it rather true. So, do appreciate my presence while it's still there.

I am thankful that i was able to meet syaaa for breakfast last night. Called the rest of the girls, not many replied. So i put it as a NO. Then again, as planned, i still go on with syahidah and we had a date plus a catching up session. Met at Beach Rd and had tulang with her. Upon waiting for the prayers to be recited, we caught up on things, be it friendship, boyfriends or family. Too many issues, just too many. You just can't satisfy anyone well right, girl? I feel you. What's more, we mentioned alot to each other and i am pretty sad that Bibi wasn't there. If only she was there, i guess it is gonna be a chaotic night for us. Filled with fun and laughters. I'm sorry for what sya has told me about her family. Then again, girl, you are wise enough. Take it as a learning lesson. Pray hard, it won't drag on.

Oh yes. I am waiting for dear Bibi to come back from Perth. She owe me something. HAHA. Actually, i owe her. I didn't even meet her on her birthday and that was BADDDD. And, we still have a wish to fulfil. Come back soon and we can start planning..!!

Work has been fine. Then again, some people, just some people just have nothing better to do but to spoil the mood of others. Stop being childish, will you? Staff were okay except those who treat us like slaves.

Iftar with dancemates tomorrow cum dance practice in the evening. Raya shows coming up and hell yeah, i need not think much already. Raya things are all ready. I just need to wear them and i am able to go and visit houses. I miss my family. I know i am talking like as if i am overseas. Then again, i haven't been spending and talking much with them. God, make me feel better.

1. You are the reason why even at the saddest part of my life, I smile. Even at confusion, I understand. Even in betrayal, I trust. Even in fear of pain, I love.
   
2. If you think I’m looking at you, staring at you or giving you the eye, I am because I’m trying to see if you have wings. My mother told me all angels have them.
   
3. When I was walking alone, I wished that I can reach the end of the road. But when you walked with me, I wished the road would never end because I would rather be lost with you than reach the end without you.
   
4. If I count how many times you’ve crossed my mind in my entire life, I’d be lying if I say it was too many. Cause you only crossed my mind once. Why? Cause you never left it!

fact : “A woman can hide her love for 40 years, but her disgust and anger not for one day”

if i'm a bad person, you dont like me. i guess ill go, make my own way. its a circle a mean cycle. i cant excite you anymore. wheres your gavel? your jury?what's my offense this time?you're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me,well sentence me to another life.

Clinical postings baby. Ward 37. Staff are good. Brother is good. Everything seems good so far. With great enthusiasm, i am done with my Case Study. HAHA!

.....AjitW@rna..... says (4:57 PM):
adik!!!
DP vogue...hehehehe
·!¦[·jüLìèêéë·]¦!· 15 little love notes. says (4:58 PM):
hahahahha!!!
.....AjitW@rna..... says (4:58 PM):
miss u
nari tak kuar?
·!¦[·jüLìèêéë·]¦!· 15 little love notes. says (4:58 PM):
baru balik kerja. nanti malam, i am going back to dance!
macam after so long.

Misses to Abang Yazid. And yes, speaking of which, i am going back to dance, right from TONIGHT! woo. haha. Second day of attachments. Been good so far. I haven't touch on wound dressing and stuffs. Then again, i have done those simple things like taking care of client's with chest tube insertion. Like for once, this is my first time giving medication to client's. I have never had real life training on real patient. Great experience. I am glad that i am in Year 2 and the brother had given alot of trust and freedom for us to do whatever. Happy so far but it's too soon to speak.

Oh yes, i don't fancy people who discriminate and don't learn to appreciate. Can i just say this? Singaporeans are afraid to die. Just because i wear a nurse uniform, doesn't make you think that i carry diseases. Just because i don a nurse uniform, i seems so filthy and have been doing dirty jobs. Spare a thought, when you are lying on bed, who do you look for? The hospital. Stop stereotyping nurses and thinking that we have been carrying the H1N1 disease. You don't know those around you. Even those who didn't go to the hospital, will get that disease. For goodness sake, you won't die of H1N1 if you immune system is well off strong. That's one. On a lighter note, it gives me a personal space, of which, i get to own the whole seat alone in the bus. Just PERFECT. When you lose something, you gain something.

Next, now, in this era, people don't practice queing anymore. I don't get the idea of having railings at the bus interchange when people do not queue. Scrap the whole idea of getting the people in control. The railing doesn't serve any purpose anymore. What's the use of having railings when people don't bother queing? This is because, i was queing at Bedok Interchange, waiting for the bus to head home. Some annoying specimens, had to the cut the queue, slumberly. With no sense of shame and guilty, they happily stood right in front. Then, the bus driver came over, they happily board the bus. Not one, not two. I tell you. a WHOLE LOT. So, upon boarding, i gave a sly grin and a glare, filled with anger and rage. Still, some just give no fig like as if it's their bus. Singaporeans are just as kiasu as ever. Have it all, or nothing at all. Jangan jadi loser boleh? Like Paramore's song : For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic. :)

I am meeting dance mates later on and i don't know why i am just excited. I went to Geylang Bazaar last night with Danial to get our clothes. Ate at Rex Mackenzie for break fast. Before that, bumped into Haiqel who waited for Pasha for more than an hour. He was complaining how lemau he was like a cookie. haha! Afterwhich, we drop by at Kampong Collection to meet abang and gang. Abang got himself crazy by biting my flabby arms. Oh my. He left a mark and i love you for that, abang rizalku sayang. It's still in pain, for goodness sake. Pain killer anyone? haha! So, i went to entertain kak endang's crap. Walked with Dann to Eunos and took bus 61. Oh yes, he bumped into Yaya. Saw Syirah too. So yes, that should end my night. I woke up, dragging my feet to work. I felt so shagged.

I have no more life. It's just work and fasting month. Counting down. 17 more days baby. Simply perfect-o!

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her...

fact: Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.